I Don't Want to Do Hard Things Today

Several years ago I discovered the phrase "I can do hard things!" It's a bit of a motto for my life. I wake up in the morning and sometimes think of the things I have to do and think they sound not so fun. But then I tell myself "I can do hard things!" (It works best if you yell it to yourself in your brain... or out loud, but be aware that people may give you strange looks.)When I am working on a difficult problem (normally math or physics) and I'm not sure what to do I tell myself "I can do hard things!" It's to the point where when people hear someone say they can do hard things some of my friends think of me. I write it on chalkboards, mumble it, repeat it while jumping up and down, etc. It generally helps me a lot. But not today.

Today I woke up and thought of the things I need to do. Run 6 miles, finish an impossible homework assignment, do my laundry, go grocery shopping, go to the Women's Conference, and clean up around the apartment. It would also be nice if I could set up a program on my computer, shop for an outfit for a wedding in two weeks, study for a stats test this week, hem my new pants, and buy inserts for my shoes so my feet don't fall asleep while I run. My next thought was that I didn't want to do any of it. I want to play ultimate Frisbee with some friends, go on a long walk, watch a movie, go home and spend time with my parents, and study the gospel on my own. I don't want to do hard things today. 

I got out of bed anyway and worked on my homework. It's coming along. It's still pretty impossible, but I made some progress (whatever that means in terms of impossible). I finished my roommate's laundry so that I could do my laundry. I made breakfast and did some more homework. Then it was time for me to try running. I put on all of my running stuff and got ready to go. I had zero motivation to run, but I want to run a marathon in September and I have to work hard so that I actually can. Cheered on by a roommate I left to run. I did not run 6 miles. I did not run 2 miles. I think I ran 1.5 miles and walked 1.5 miles before I came back home. I don't want to do hard things today.

That brings me to a question. What do you do when you don't want to do hard things? Honestly, I want to take a shower, put on sweatpants and lay in bed all day. I want to neglect all of the things I'm suppose to do and do what I WANT to do (which apparently consists of being sad?). 

That's when I remembered what today is. Today is the day before Easter. It's Easter Eve. What does that mean? It means that Friday has hit (as Elder Wirthlin would say https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/11/sunday-will-come.p1?lang=eng). It means that the Son of God was crucified. It means that everyone who loved him and cared for him cried and despaired. It means that the heavens wept in sorrow for the loss of such a precious soul and for the lack of love mankind had shown him. But Sunday will come! Sunday will bring joy and peace. It will bring hope! The Son of God was crucified, but then he conquered death! He rose again! He allows you and me and everyone on the planet to rise again! Death has no power. Jesus Christ is our Savior!

So what does that mean for me in terms of not wanting to do hard things? Christ did so much more than just rise from the dead that Easter morning. It was a symbol of all of the other truths he proclaimed. He is filled with grace. The Bible Dictionary defines grace as a "divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ." Help or strength. Not just any help or strength, but a divine help or strength. That means that if I try my best. If I give it all I can that Christ will fill in the gaps. When I finish all of the things I need to do today and I feel like I just want to sit in a ball and cry because it was hard and I'm tired then He will be there. He does not leave us alone. It also means that he will help me accomplish hard things and if I try hard things and I fail because I'm not ready to accomplish that hard thing then he is there to help me feel okay about it. He loves me! He loves you! He is wonderful!

I don't want to do hard things today, but I will anyway. I will do all that I can. I will work hard and finish what I can. At the end of the day I may feel like crying and giving up, but I know my Savior will be there. How do I know? Because he has been there before. Life isn't perfect and it won't ever be. But that's ok because we have a Savior, Jesus Christ.